CIGARETTE:

 

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

LECTURE:

 

An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.

CONFERENCE:

 

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

COMPROMISE:

 

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

TEARS:

 

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

CONFERENCE ROOM:

 

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

ECSTASY:

 

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

CLASSIC:

 

A book which people praise, but never read.

SMILE:

 

A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:

 

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

EXPERIENCE:

 

The name men give to their mistakes.

DIPLOMAT:

 

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

OPTIMIST:

 

A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway “SEE? I AM NOT INJURED YET!”

MISER:

 

A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

 

FATHER:

 

A banker provided by nature.

BOSS:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence later.

DOCTOR:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!