Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated” and, like Samuel Clements aka Mark Twain, so has all these stories about “the demise” of “American Idol.”

I was reading just one of the many blogs on the subject of “Idol” and judges and Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler and one or two things came through loud and clear:

Over all the din, there has been nary a word from Nigel Lythgoe, the Executive Producer of the show and the show’s creator- Simon Fuller. NOT, Simon Cowell- Simon Fuller.

I seriously doubt 99% of all those know-it-alls about this show understand the value and creative and business savvy of Lythgoe and, especially, Simon Fuller in the success of this show. Shame.


Also, knowing his penchant for publicity, Mr. Cowell has been noticeably quiet about all this “Idol warfare”.

Those doing the talking- and she doth seem to protesteth way too much has been Ms. Lopez.

If you’re gonna go, go now, baby. Just stop making a song and dance about it as this was the show that saved your ass and gave your career a new boost.

You were going nowhere and with not even a recording deal before getting the “Idol” gig.

Go- and let’s see where you land.

Steven Tyler said his piece and left. Quietly and “walked this way”-stage right…

Ms. Lopez, however, like a bad smell, keeps re-appearing with new quotes how she “hates to leave, but yada yada yada.”

You go, girl, ‘cos you’ve become boring and must be damn difficult to live with.

You go, Marc Antony. Oh yes, you’ve left her with another toy boy dancer and that virus going around called “Madonnaitis.”

Still, everyone is an “expert” on Lopez leaving the show- including this unheard of bloke.



Meanwhile, names as replacements have been trotted out- Jon Bon Jovi, Lionel Ritchie- I think he’d be great for reasons I’ll explain later – Aretha Franklin- huh? Lady Soul? A judge? Week after week???- Pink, Adam Lambert, Kelly Clarkson- both horrible choices to sponsors- Mick Jagger- they’re touring and even if not, puhleese- Justin Timberlake- he’ll never ever do the show- Prince- PRINCE??? He barely speaks- and other bizarre choices for what must be a MARKETING and BUSINESS success appealing to as wide a demographic as possible.

Hell, he’s up for anything so why not bring out Obama as a Guest Judge? Betcha By Golly Wow he’ll do it, he might even sing as the man is such a ham and ratings will go through the roof?

Let’s step back for a sec: Were the combination of Lopez, Tyler and “The Dawg” really THAT good?

J-Lo La La is a fine looking specimen of a woman, but she cannot sing and having her judge those who could sing was an oxymoron.

Steven Tyler? Goofy, “crazy mad”, always good for a quote, but was he REALLY into the show- especially during his second stint on it?

He was just Steven Tyler, Rock God, sitting in as a judge. It could have been Robert Plant or, yes, Jon Bon Jovi who would be PERFECT for the show and it’s largely all-white audience.

Perhaps even Sting- if he was up for it.

Same with Lionel Ritchie who recently had the Number 1 selling record in the US- a Country record- is a bloody nice guy and him versus “The Dawg”? No contest.

Plus Jon Bon Jovi and Lionel Ritchie and Ryan Seacrest- great for ratings, great to all audiences and great for sponsors.

So, who to replace Jennifer Lopez? Katy Perry? Nah, not ready for Prime Time.

So what if “X Factor” has Britney Spears? She’s had her day and is irrelevant.

I’d just get either Shania Twain, pictured above with Ritchie, or Victoria Beckham who is managed by Simon Fuller’s X1X Management and move on.

Having said all this, unless I read a quote from Nigel Lythgoe or Simon Fuller about the OWNERSHIP of the show and how all the parts fit- if they can- something about all this reminds me of Much Ado About Nothing, or Something To Do With Everything and with nothing really mattering until these two are part of the show.

If “American Idol” is left to, well, idle in the hands of Fox and Freemantle, it will fail and so be it.