WANNA FUC?

(YOU’LL NEVER KNOW WHERE IT WILL LEAD YOU)

What’s in a name, indeed? The above is normally the name of some dive we’d expect to see in Bangkok, but, apparently, this particular FUK will open up in Lower Elgin Street, Soho and at a location which some call “The Death Spot.” It’s where many clubs have opened- and closed- after losing millions in a few months, the latest victim being The Liquid Lounge.

The Liquid Lounge was more “liquid” than a lounge and with money from investors new to the F&B business just watching their investment washed away like a tsunami.

What was its main problem: despite promotions like the one below, there were no customers- possibly the “Club” with the dubious honor of being the only “club” in Hong Kong with no customers on even Fridays and Saturdays despite having a bodyguard at the door. Sorry, we’re starting to laugh.

This Liquid Lounge also had some sorta tie-in with Wanchai’s Joe Bananas which is now more bananas that Joe and full of sad sack losers drinking their troubles away.

The same investors are also seeing their money flow away like the Red Tide with their latest venture- The JB Lounge- in Lan Kwai Fong and which used to be The Ashtray. And the Ashtray was more ash than any silver-lined tray which is why it went bust.

Guess some people are just gluttons for punishment or have shit for brains or else have “fung shui master” Paul Chan advising them on what to invest in and where.

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THE AMERICAN CHINESIZING OF HONG KONG.

Look, we like the fact that so many ABCs and CBCs are returning to the family fold in Hong Kong and many are our friends and some we have dated. Lovely people-and with brains, good jobs, great clothes sense and having the Art Of Conversation.

Then you have, what we call The Others- those extremely LOUD and oafish boors who drive away customers with their incredible LOUD, booming voices and where everyone with a twenty mile radius can hear them- and the crap they’re talking about.

There are a few bars and restaurants which seem to attract these extremely LOUD boors and we honestly put them in the same bracket as the oafish drunks who stumble around the LKF and the Soho area like the fucking losers that they are.

Here’s our take: If drunks are shown the door, then so should these LOUD boors who get LOUDER with every round of beer they order. If they were “back home” would they act like this? We doubt it. If they did, some humongous Black dude would walk up to them and just whop them.

But in Hong Kong? And next to very meek-mannered local Hong Kong Chinese? We guess they need to VERY LOUDLY show that they can speak the President’s English. We are not impressed and there should be a Door Policy: IF A FUCKING LOUD AMERICAN BORN CHINESE, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

This, of course, is not to say that EVERY nationality has one of “these” to offend many. Some of those Indian “doots” hanging around Wyndham Street and hungry for “white girls”- and going home hungry- are just as bad.

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EDISON CHEN STILL MANAGES TO KEEP IT UP.

After two years in the making, after numerous shoots and re-shoots, after all the interviews he has conducted, alas, we hear that the Edison Chen reality series which was bankrolled by Next Magazine kingpin Jimmy Lai, has bitten the dust.

What happened? Nothing. It just took too long. Then came another of ‘those” scandals which only Edison seems to cultivate, this time with, allegedly, a virgin named Cannie, and everything was put on hold and now everything filmed is old hat.

Still, never one to keep anything down- and he has many photos to prove it- Mr. Ed is back- soon- with a new record and, we understand a lucrative clothing deal with his CLOT brand and the Isuzu brand. Despite what it may seem, Edison Chen is no fool. The guy has nine lives though probably one real career in porn.

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DON’T CALL THEM “LITTLE MEN”!

When Hong Kong’s Champion Jockey- Douglas Whyte- fell off his horse which, sadly, cracked its leg in the running- we feared the worst. The jockey lay motionless on the turf as other horses went around him and with another jockey- Italian Umberto Rispoli- also taking a fall.

While, Rispoli, a Pinup Boy with many young Hong Kong girls, broke his wrist, the South African-born Whyte, known as “The Durban Demon” was, he told us, “feeling sore, but otherwise, alright.” Hell, if we had a fall like that we would be incapacitated for a year and crying like girlie men.

But not Whyte who was back riding track work the very next day, riding at Happy Valley on Wednesday and off to ride in Japan on Sunday with the Chinese racing media giving Whyte a new nickname- “Superman Whyte”.

These jockeys are very much underrated by so many who have no idea that each time they climb aboard those thousand pound horses, they have no idea what might happen. Yes, tough mentally and even tougher physically.