Percy Sledge was part right hen he sang the classic “When A Man Loves A Woman”.
Sure, when a man loves a woman, he’ll turn his back on his best friend if he puts her down etc.
But we are now in 2012 and, sorry, but a woman needs to carry her own weight around the house and in a relationship.
Just lounging around and cooking a few meals is not enough- that and some tra-la-la ideas of being some “entrepreneur” and spending years on cock-eyed schemes.
Nah, show me the money, baby: What’s your FINANCIAL contribution to this partnership? PARTNERSHIP, baby, PARTNERSHIP.
Often, one meets- and even marries- two types of woman.
One works so darn hard, they’re actually married, not to the mob, but to their jobs. They almost become men without realizing it.
What happens in this instance is that the man gets tired of coming home for dinner and then having to wait until 11pm to eat. He feels like a, well, pussy.
This leads to a dangerous path where he says, “Fuck this”, this is no marriage and decides he can be Don Draper play around and will never be found out.
Everywhere with anything, one is found out. Even Don Draper.
Then comes all the “Sorrys” and “I will never do it against” bouts of guilt in the world, both return to their neutral corners, both patch things up, but then, The Workaholic and the now-Sexaholic have become addicted to their lifestyles and as with any addiction, any divine or even Andy Devineinterventions are hard to find.
So, despite still loving each other- in very rare instances- forever- the couple split, their friends take sides and one of them is always labeled as being some type of monster and social pariah.
There is then the other type of woman who expects the man to provide. And provide and provide until resentment rears its ugly head.
For her, the man is not providing enough and to him, the woman becomes an irritant, the sex becomes a bore and she is seen as a lazy cow.
She becomes more clutter in his life as he feels obligated to be with her and make small talk and have sex as if on remote and then wonders where the hell did the time go?
What the hell have I accomplished and why the hell not? And then he sees her doing sweet fuck all except for chatting on Skype or updating her Facebook page and bombs go off on his head.
He becomes Basil Fawlty and so, both decide that this one-way relationship needs to get the bullet before it becomes The War Of The Roses.
So, where’s the balance, where’s that “perfect person” for men- even with slight perfections?
Sure, finding a woman purely for the Joys Of Sex is easy- but what about finding that partner to inspire you, to be there for you and to work towards a common goal?
Sadly, many women I have met either think they’re still 18, dating and getting pocket money from Daddy while others have little time for even a little conversation.
And when those conversations start up, often hostility reigns supreme: Either he thinks he is carrying the whole load, or she feels “misunderstood” and “underrated” and both go into throes of The Blame Game and denial- and I don’t mean the river in Egypt.
What’s the answer?
Apart from turning Gay, who the hell knows except to live in constant hope and use any new-found down-time without a relationship weighing you down.
Perhaps it’s time to have some Me Time and do everything you should have been doing before wasting so such time on someone else?
A time when you completely forgot about yourself and your plans, schemes and dreams.
Me Time began Her Time and the hours became years and you were that hamster on the treadmill of whatever “life” was running you.
There is much to be said for being alone- and truly blessed and happy to be so and with all the time to do what you want and with only yourself to blame if things don’t go according to plan.
It’s pretty damn therapeutic instead of living a lie and, as Paul Simon sang, “Fakin’ It.”
by HANS EBERT