(YOU’LL NEVER KNOW WHERE IT WILL LEAD YOU)

Wanna know where Hong Kong’s greatest wankers congregate? The Blue Bar at the Four Seasons Hotel. Walk in there on any day of the week- but, especially, Fridays and Saturdays, and you can bet your little banana that you’ll meet more “fund managers” and “private equity” people in one venue than anywhere else in the world.

Do they have name cards? “Sorry, man, I’ve given out all my cards. What’s your number?” Do they tell you where they actually work? “Oh, man, I’m working right now on a project which could net me a cool $10 million.” Do they tell you where they live.” I’m looking for a new pad, man, something like what I had in New York. You know of anything going- like a duplex- but nothing too expensive. Around HK$20,000?”

And so it goes on and with each wanker- and the female of the species trawl the Bar just as urgently – and we enjoy the bar and it’s drinks and free dimsum and snacks it serves from 6pm- and with everyone trying to outdo each other in Wankerdom: “I am about to make $10 million.” “Yeah? I’m about to make $15 million and am looking at buying a yacht.” Or, “Come on my boat on the weekend, mate. I’ll call you if the weather isn’t good.” It never is.

Then there are those who act as if they are with the CIA: “If this Indian guy comes over, my name in Andy, okay? The guy’s a pain in the ass and I don’t want him to know my real name.” Oh, well, it at least provides us with some surreal floorshow and the makings of a reality programme.

By the way, taking over from our good friend Genevieve aka Gigi at the Blue Bar who is moving on and leaving soon back to Canada, is one Julie Mahendran. It won’t be the same without Gigi and those meandering vocals which always took us to places we had never traveled to before. It was always quite a trip and where we never expected anything less than expecting the unexpected.

 

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WHO’S THAT GIRL?

 

Who is the attractive blonde- divorced or estranged, we hear- who seems to have a side business going on. One can usually see her with her friends also from Eastern Europe at nearly every lounge and bar at every popular five-star hotel sitting and chatting with different tourists. And, yes, there she was again on Saturday at, yes, again, The Blue Bar and with an elderly Japanese man who was either bored shitless listening to the blonde beauty prattle on to her Eastern European countrywomen or had nodded off.

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M1NTING IT? AGAIN?

The ghost of M1NT in Hong Kong seems to nee go away. It lingers like a bad smell that refuses to leave and continues to remind all those “shareholders” who invested in the Club and got zero for their investments. As man know by now, the Partners of M1NT Hong Kong and the far more popular M1NT Shanghai had an acrimonious split which resulted in the former club being renamed Republic and run by one of the original partners of the brand- Andrew Lewis. How things changed since the video below was produced.

Alas, this particular Republic went under in around six months and with some allegedly still waiting to be paid. Lewis is said to have disappeared, but we hear, made a “comeback” in Hong Kong to “do a deal” which saw the former Republic being sold and turned into a Japanese restaurant.

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SPANISH WTF?

Like cooking, it’s taken time to marinate- and to stew and be rubbished by those know-it-alls- and now WTF at 9 Lower Elgin Street has suddenly exploded like a big fat zit. Is it a bar, is it a restaurant, it can be either, but what’s now key is that the new outlet has become a full-scale Spanish restaurant. How authentic is it? Well, Speedy Gonzales wouldn’t feel outta place there as there were three tables earlier this week made up of real ‘live’ Spaniards digging into the Tapas and Sangrias and telling us that the food made them feel like they were back in Barcelona. And, jeez, the new all-Spanish menu hadn’t even been introduced. What a great menu it is, too, with many different versions of Paella, six different versions of Sangrias, different types of hams, cheeses and a stuffed squid dish which had us salivating for more.

Run and owned by Karki- Is his brother Doorki and is his Dad Masterki?- who also weaves his magic at nearby Guru, WTF is attracting a very diverse group of customers- Bankers, the gay crowd, the straight crowd, the crowd which doesn’t quite know which team they’re playing for, jockeys- the ones who ride horses- trainers- the ones who train horses- musicians, journalists, the young, the restless, the odds and sods. WTF, indeed and don’t hog the paella.