If in Hong Kong, did it happen to you, too, last night- Sunday? This was when your computer simply wouldn’t allow you to get on the net? And did you log off and log back on and stare at your computer screen while nothing still happened as there was some “Error 678″ showing and which said that your computer was not properly connected”?

And so did you call 1000- “network provider” PCCW’s “24 Customer Hour Hotline”? And did this get you nowhere?

Weren’t you asked by some automated voice to “Enter your ID Card Number and Press the hash key”? And were you not, then asked to Press 5 and then Press 2 and then Press 8 and did you not listen to the same automated voice offering “advice” and instructions” which got you nowhere?

Did you not hang on for fucking hours waiting for a real ‘live’ human being come on the phone and tell you what the fuck to do?

Did you finally give up and go watch PCCW’s NOWTV which has all those THEN programme repeats and which are repeated thrice a night as there is zero programming on any of those useless channels to last 24 hours? And how many episodes of “Glee” did YOU watch? So many that you can now act out every part and sing every song?

And then did you go back to your computer thinking that this might- again-have been PCCW’s fault and not that of your computer?

And then, did you notice that, miraculously, the computer was working and the reason no one was answering PCCW’s “24 Hour Customer Hotline” was because the staff knew “the network provider” had fucked up and were being inundated with calls from irate subscribers?

Somewhere in-between all this and the moon and New York City, did you not fume and swear and scream to no one on the other end of the phone?

Did you have “angry sex” to try and rid yourself of the frustrations- but only to have Richard Li’s face pop in to your head?

Did you make a list like the one we have compiled below?

1] Don’t pretend there is a 24-hour “Customer Hot Line” as it’s very obvious to all that no one is “at home” and all one gets for trouble is holding on for dear life and wasting over an hour of their lives.

2] Don’t’ pretend there is any “technical staff” at the other end ‘cos in this DIY world, all one receives are some “instructions” on how to solve “your problem.”

These “helpful hints” are always the same: Remove all of one’s lines to the modem, switch off all, well, switches and then put them all back in and so, re-boot your computer.

If this fails, a “Senior Technical Executive will be with you very soon.”

3] Stop saying that “All staff are busy at the moment” and how “an Executive will be with you as soon as possible.” We all know by now, that no one will ever come and speak to you in person.

4] Have either PCCW’s Richard Li or Alex Arena man the “24-Hour Customer Hotline” for just an hour a day for a week and makes themselves to the torrent of abuse they will receive from pissed off customers. Then again, Little Richard should be used to people hurling abuse at him by now as he continues to look like Li Ka-shing’s idiot son and Hong Kong’s Number One Village Idiot.

For a smart man who “graduated” from gawd knows where, anymore, he’s pretty dumb at getting PCCW together. And let’s not forget that some at Fast Track worked for him and know how PCCW was launched with nothing much except bells and whistles and much smoke and many mirrors.

5] Storm the PCCW Offices and Occupy PCCW.