Simon Cowell is a very complex human being.

True, he is a very successful businessman and his track rcords speaks volumes for what he has achieved since his days as the musical “brains” behind the Teletubbies.

And though many of the acts he has touted- Il Divo, anyone?- and various musical flops, like Houdini, he escapes unscathed.

It’s his personal life, however, which remains a mystery- and which he seemingly likes to flaunt and perpetuate.

Why? Is he trying to cover something up like, let’s say Tom Cruise and John Travolta?

We don’t really get it: He’s always “falling in love”, he’s always “getting engaged” and then- poof- nothing ever happens.

Will the real Simon Cowell stand up, or sit down and just stop all the bullshit?

It’s 2012 and nothing is sacred, Simon, baby.